


placebo

by jikwaniser



Series: addicted to life [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drinking, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Smut, Underage Drinking, just marijuana tho, this is based off placebo by 3racha, trans felix, uhh song au rly, we got angst kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-06-20 19:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15541581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jikwaniser/pseuds/jikwaniser
Summary: Cause later when I become addicted to lifeeven though the medicine I take when I'm sick has no effectit still comforts me in another way and makes me want to fly





	1. Chapter 1

The pulse of the music and a shift beside him in the bed is what Chan had woken up to. Sure most people would assume the worst, he had gotten shit-faced and slept with someone at a party, but for Chan, it was pretty normal for him. He wouldn’t call it sleeping around, per say, that would involve having sex and Chan definitely was not ready for that. Instead, he would escape the crowded living room full of drunks and people clinging to his lap, mainly a rather intoxicated Felix, and would take haven in a free bedroom. Changbin had plenty, living in what resembled a mansion, after all. So Chan assumed he had fallen asleep, the alcohol making him pass out as soon as he tucked himself into the guest room. That was until he rolled over, feeling an ache in his ass and his lower back, his chest bare and littered with what looked like- _hickies?_ Chan felt all the color drain from his face, his palms sweating, as he slowly looked over to the culprit beside him in the bed.

“Good morning,” They let out a breathy laugh, “I mean, considering it _is_ 2 in the morning.” Chan stared, unblinking at the stranger. The younger smiled, his eyes twinkling from the moonlight peeking in through the curtains.

Chan looked at his chest and then back to the stranger, his ears tinting pink. “Did we..?” He trailed off, biting his lip.

The guy looked at the window, humming. Chan hadn’t noticed before but he was shirtless too. “Yeah, I tried to tell you no, I mean considering you were drunk off your ass, but you were so insistent I couldn’t stop you.” the guy laughed, turning to Chan, “You’re hot when you’re a horny drunk, by the way.”

Chan’s redness spread to his cheeks, he quickly turned away. “I am, so sorry.”

The guy laughed again, his shoulders shaking, “It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Chan nodded, quickly climbing out of bed and grabbing his shirt, pulling it on.

“I should go, uh, have a good night.” He ran out of the room before the other could respond, his face a bright red and his heart pounding in his chest.

He made it back to the living room, the party still as lively as it was hours ago. Chan released a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, as he tried to find Felix.

 And with Chan’s luck, he _did_ find Felix, who was currently dancing against Changbin like a drunken fool, his lips red and swollen. If it weren’t for the fact that Chan was completely and utterly stressed, he would have laughed at the younger.

 “Felix, we need to go.” Chan urged, Felix shooing Chan away as he continued grinding against Changbin. Chan groaned, reaching and dragging Felix away.

Felix whined, reaching out for Changbin, “I’ll be back soon, my angel!” He yelled out, completely drunk and pining.

 Changbin looked at him, his face bright red, waving shyly as Felix blew a kiss. Chan sighed, he was gonna have to sit the kid down and give him the talk.

“Chris, why would you pull me away from my boyfriend like that?” He pouted, his arms crossing over his chest like a child. 

Chan bit his lip, continuing to drag Felix out of the house and towards their car. He pushed Felix in the passenger seat before he climbed into the driver’s seat, immediately slamming his head against the wheel. “Felix, I fucked up.” 

Felix looked over at Chan, his eyes glazed but still focused. “What did you do?”

Chan sighed, starting the car, “I slept with someone tonight.” 

Felix’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping open before he let out a loud laugh, his entire body shaking. Chan glared at him as he started driving them home.

“Felix! This isn’t funny!” He huffed, gently punching Felix in the arm, “I don’t even know _who_ I slept with! Also, I’m ace!” 

Felix, who had finally calmed down and sobered up slightly, turned to Chan. “Well I mean, if you slept with someone are you really asexual Channie?”

They stopped at a red light, Chan staring out the window, “I mean, I didn’t like it. Well, I don’t remember much but I’m sure I didn’t.”

Felix let out a hum, his fingers tapping against his thigh. “Would you try it again, I mean, when you’re sober?”

That was a good question, _would he?_ I mean, waking up and feeling the pain in his ass was not very pleasant plus his throat was killing him. But he was also curious, maybe he would enjoy it and want to do it more. Chan groaned, he was going crazy. 

“I don’t want to have sex again for a while, I’m still sore.” He whined, the car pulling to a stop in front of Felix’s house. 

“I can’t believe you bottomed, with those muscles I would've thought you were a top.” 

Chan shoved him out of the car, ignoring Felix’s laugh as he flicked him off, and drove off. 

Chan nearly threw his car keys down as soon as he got home, kicking off his shoes and all but collapsing onto his bed. He didn’t bother to wipe off his makeup or brush his teeth, just crawled into bed and tried to sleep his problems away.

 

;

 

Chan woke up to about half a dozen text messages, all from Felix.

 

_lix:_ thanks for taking me home chris! (╯3╰)

_lix:_ also i think i may know who you slept with

_lix:_ ALSO DID I TELL YOU CHANGBINNIE WANTS TO TAKE ME OUT FOR LUNCH o(≧o≦)o

 

Wait, _what?_ Celebrating could wait, Chan needed answers.

 

_bangchan:_ What do you mean you know who I slept with

 

_lix:_ good morning to you too

_lix:_ why yes i am excited abt my date thank you christopher

 

_bangchan:_ Alright smartass

 

_lix:_ (・∀・ )

 

_bangchan:_ Who is it?

 

_lix:_ his name is minho

_lix:_ he does dance with me and sungie saw him leave the room right after you

 

_Minho?_ Chan thought, he had never heard of anyone named Minho.

 

_bangchan:_ I’m gonna text Jisung

_bangchan:_ Thank you Lix

 

_lix:_ no prob!! ( ^▽^)σ)~O~)

 

Chan smiled as he quickly went to send a text to Jisung, all  his faith depending on him.

 

_bangchan:_ Han Jisung

_bangchan:_ My best friend

_bangchan:_ The no homo loml

 

_handsome:_ chan what do u want

 

_bangchan:_ Ouch

_bangchan:_ Okay okay Felix texted me saying you know who I slept with last night

 

_handsome:_ oh tht lol

_handsome:_ his name is minho

 

_bangchan:_ Thank you captain obvious

_bangchan:_ What do you know about him?

 

_handsome:_ uh hes 19 and he dances

 

So he’s younger than Chan, interesting.

 

_handsome:_ he models 2 ik

_handsome:_ also hes gay

 

Someone give Jisung an award, the man’s a genius.

 

_bangchan:_ Models?

 

_handsome:_ ya he does magazine shoots or smth like tht

_handsome:_ i think he did a shoot 4 vogue

 

Chan felt his stomach fall into his ass. Of course out of all the people he could sleep with, it had to be a fucking model for Vogue, _Vogue!_ For Godsake, just go ahead and start on his grave.

 

_bangchan:_ Thank you Sungie

 

Chan immediately opened up his laptop, quickly looking on the Vogue website and there taunting him was Minho- fucking Lee Minho. Chan laughed, his life was a joke. 

Not only was Minho a model for Vogue, apparently he also did small role acting, by the looks of his bio. 

_Jesus Christ_ , Chan thought, _This guy really is amazing._

Chan was hopeless, here he was genuinely interested in this guy and he was this successful and, not to mention, he had no way of contacting him.

 Unless- No, he was not that desperate. He was not going to ask Jisung for Minho’s number.

_bangchan:_ Do you have Minhos number?

Look, don’t laugh, Chan’s morals were very low. He just hoped Jisung wouldn’t question it. 

_handsome:_ xxxxxxxxxx :) 

Good ole clueless Jisung. 

Now Chan had a few ways to go about this. He could be honest, let Minho know that he got this number from Jisung because he was genuinely interested in him, or he could claim that he needed to talk to him, or he could be a complete loser and just chicken out altogether. 

Option three sounded really good to Chan, and before you say anything, fuck off. Chan was an anxious gay kid, texting cute model boys you slept with is scary.

Chan laid back in bed, his hand running down his face. He still was trying to wrap his brain around what had happened last night, curse him and his lightweight ass, he couldn’t remember shit after Jisung thrust the third concoction he had made into his hand. Sure, he shouldn’t have gone into a bedroom at a party full of drunk, horny teens, but he was tired, screw it.

 He contemplated going to Felix’s house and complaining there, but he knew the younger would offer no comfort and would most likely tease him. Then again, it sounded better than having a pity party in bed all day. So, he pulled himself together and managed to put on some clothes that didn’t smell like stale beer, and grabbed his coat, beginning his walk to Felix’s house. Luckily the younger lived down the block so he could walk there, his head still pounding from last night.

 He knocked lightly on the door, almost certain Felix didn’t hear it. Until he opened the door, his hair a mess and his eyes squinting, a coffee cup in his hand.

“What do you want? You could have called me and said you were coming.” Chan smiled sheepishly, stepping in and hanging his coat up.

“Sorry, I just needed to talk to you and didn’t want to do it over the phone.”

Felix yawned, nodding. “After we texted I fell back asleep, you actually woke me up so I should thank you.”

Chan smiled, sitting down on the couch, Felix throwing himself down beside him. “What’d you need to talk about?”

“How do I stop being ace?” Felix, who was drinking his coffee, immediately stopped and looked at Chan.

“What do you mean _stop_?” He gingerly took a sip, “I don’t think it’s something you can control.”

Chan sighed, flopping back dramatically. “I just, I did it when I was drunk so I want to try it sober and see if I like it, but I’m _scared_.”

Felix nodded, “Maybe you just need a little motivation.” Chan stared at him, his eyebrow raising.

 “What do you mean?”

 Felix stood up, setting his coffee mug on the table in front of him. “Come here.” So Chan did, he followed Felix into his kitchen, the younger rifling through a cabinet.

“Where is it, come on.” Chan sat down, resting his chin in his hand, “Ah! There you are.” He turned to Chan, a bottle of pills in his hand, a smile on his face.

 “This is my old hormone medicine, I took it during my transition.” Chan nodded, remembering Felix mentioning something about this medication that helped with his guy hormones, it had testosterone in it or something. “I think it can help you.”

 Chan raised an eyebrow, “By giving me more testosterone?”

 Felix rolled his eyes, “By stimulating your hormones, dumbass.”

 Chan’s ears perked up at that, “I’m listening.”

Felix sat across from him, sliding the medicine towards Chan. “It says it can increase hormonal balance and allow for more controlled testosterone.” He shrugged, “If it can make me sound like I’m a fucking caveman and help me grow facial hair, I’m sure it can stimulate your sex drive.”

Chan bit his lip, contemplating on taking the medicine or not. Sure, Felix said it would help, and it definitely worked for him, but this was prescribed medication and wasn’t taking it like, highly illegal? But, Chan was curious and Felix’s twinkling eyes didn’t help the situation any. 

“Fine,” He took it, shoving it in his pocket, “I’ll try it.”

If he blushed a little, Felix chose not to mention it.

 

;

 

_Take one pill, once a day, for fourteen days or until changes are noticeable._

_Take with food._

_Do not take with other prescribed medications._

 That seemed simple enough. Chan decided he would take one with dinner, that way he wouldn’t forget in the morning, he was always scattered brained when he woke up.

So, with a nutritious dinner of leftover ramen from the day before and an entire box of crackers, Chan took the first pill. It was quite small, which Chan was happy about considering he was _shit_ at taking pills, and quite easy to take. He enjoyed the rest of his dinner afterwards, the medicine and all his worries out of mind.

He quickly washed his plate, tossing the, now empty, box of crackers into the bin before heading off to the bathroom to shower before he would crash in bed. He had spent most of the day recording for an upcoming song and he was tired, Changbin had been there helping-- which by default meant Felix was there too, ogling Changbin the whole time. Chan had spend most of the time trying to pry the two away from each other so he could get some _actual_ work done. They finally did though, they managed to finish three songs and Chan actually made it home before it was dark.

Chan turned the water on and undressed, stepping in, he let the hot water soothe his aching muscles. Sitting in a desk chair all day made his back and shoulders tense, not to mention he would have throbbing headaches. As he washed his hair, he thought back to the night with Minho, how the younger had actually rubbed his shoulder and placed delicate kisses against his neck when they had woken up. Chan blushed, it was extremely domestic and it was driving him insane. He spent the rest of the shower brooding, quickly washing his body and shutting the water off with a sigh.

He reached for the towel he had hanging by the shower, wrapping it around his waist and letting his wet hair drip all over the floor, deciding to wipe it tomorrow, he was too tired and far too tense to do anything but get into bed and sleep for twenty hours-- or by Chan’s internal clock, a good six.

 After changing into clean clothes and plugging his phone in, Chan passed out, not even bothering to brush his hair or teeth, just letting sleep overcome him.

 

;

 

He woke up, for the second morning in a row, to a vibrating phone.

 

_minho(?):_ hey channie? it’s minho!

_minho(?):_ felix gave me your number ^_^

 

Chan almost threw his phone across the room, not even bothering to check if Felix was awake before calling the younger.

 

“ _Hello?”_ His groggy voice came through the phone.

 “Did you give Minho my number?”

 Chan heard Felix’s bed squeak, and then a grunt, “ _Dunno, I was drunk off my ass last night._ ”

Chan groaned, slamming his head back onto his pillow, “So you got wasted, saw Minho at the party, and gave him my number?”

 Felix was quiet, “ _Yeah, that seems about right._ ” Chan was going to need to have a _serious_ talk with Felix about his drinking. 

“Kid, you’re lucky I love you, because I would seriously kill you.” 

Felix laughed softly, his bed squeaking again, “ _I‘m going back to bed, call me when you text Minho_.” He yawned, hanging up before Chan could swear him out.

Chan opened his messaging app back up, Minho’s number taunting him. He bit his lip, debating between texting back or simply just ignoring until he couldn’t. He hadn’t texted Minho when had his number earlier, so why would anything change? Chan wasn’t going to text him, he just wasn’t.

 

_bangchan:_ Hey Minho!

 

Shut the fuck up. Don’t say anything.

 

Minho’s reply came seconds later, like he was waiting for Chan to text back. _He wasn’t, it’s a coincidence._ Chan told himself.

 

_minho(?):_ oh thank god it is you

_minho(?):_ i was scared felix gave me a wrong number haha

 

_minho(?) has been changed to minho!_

 

Again, shut the fuck up.

 

_bangchan:_ Felix may be a drunken mess

_bangchan:_ But he knows my number by heart

 

Chan laid his head against his arm, ignoring the tingling pain coursing through it.

_minho!:_ hahaha hes a good cousin

_bangchan:_ Most of time

_minho!:_ give him more credit :( hes the reason were talking rn!!!

 

Chan pictured Minho pouting, his arms crossed, God how Chan wished he could kiss that pout away.  He felt his face heat up, quickly pushing the thought away before he could embarrass himself and text Minho something stupid.

 

_bangchan:_ What a saint

_minho!:_ shoot i have to go to dance :( ill text you when im done?

_bangchan:_ Have fun!

_minho!:_ <3

 

Chan blinked, rereading them message three times before setting his phone down silently, screaming. He was glad that his neighbors were out at work otherwise he would receive a noise complaint and that was the _last_ thing he needed.

He was thankful Felix was awake, and always on his phone.

 

“ _So I’m guessing you texted him._ ”

Chan was whining, “He texted me a heart Lix! What does that mean?”

Felix laughed, shifting in his bed, “ _It means you may be getting dick sooner than expected._ ”

“This is serious!”

“ _Sorry, sorry. Maybe text one back and see what happens?_ ”

 Chan stared at the ceiling, “He’ll delete my number.”

 “ _Bang Chan! He texted you it first!_ ” Chan could hear Felix’s annoyance even through the phone.

 “Fine, if I send him a heart will you stop teasing me?”

 Felix hummed, “ _Nope, but do it anyway._ ”

 Chan hated him, but he really owed him something for helping to even _talk_ to Minho in the first place.

 “Fine, but I’m not sending anything else.”

 Chan hung up as he heard Felix cheering, blushing, he opened his messaging app back up. He quickly typed out a ‘<3’ and pressed _send_ before he could chicken out.

Chan didn’t expect Minho to answer right away, let alone at all, considering he was at dance practice. He felt his entire face heat up as he read the message.

 

_minho!_ : youre so cute haha <33

 

Chan was fucked.

 

;

 

After the heart escapade, Minho and Chan continued to text like nothing had happened. It had been three days since Chan had started taking his medicine and texting Minho and he honestly felt so much more confident.

He took his pill with dinner, his fourth night on the medication, having no trouble swallowing it down anymore. He finished his dinner, undercooked and burnt ramen, and laid back on the couch, stretching his arms out. He got through his second episode of some anime Hyunjin recommended him when his phone vibrated. 

“Hello?” 

“ _Channie!_ ” Minho? He had expected it to be Felix.

“Minho? What do you need?”

He heard movement, then a huff, “ _I just got finished with dance, and was wondering, if you’re not too busy, would you maybe want to grab dinner with me?_ ” 

Chan felt his heart pounding in his chest, blushing lightly. He had been hungry still after eating his disappointment of a meal and was planning on getting dinner anyway, the fact Minho invited him just put the cherry on top. He checked the time, it wasn’t even nine. 

“Give me ten minutes to change, where do you wanna meet?” 

Minho laughed, his voice airy, “ _I’ll come by and pick you up, don’t worry!_ ”

 

Chan looked around his mess of an apartment, his living room cluttered with anime figurines and the pillows and clothes scattered around the floor. “Sure, just meet me in the lobby.” He would rather die than have Minho see his mess of an apartment.

 Chan could feel Minho’s smile through the phone, “ _See you in ten!_ ”

 

Normally, Chan took less than a minute to choose an outfit and fix his hair, but for some reason, he couldn’t decide on what to wear. It wasn’t a date, obviously, just two friends grabbing dinner. Chan didn’t even know  _where_ they were going, if he wore jeans and a t-shirt would it be too casual? But would a button down be too fancy? He decided to just go with a nicer pair of jeans and a jacket, opting for his converse. If Chan spent extra time making sure his hair looked good and putting on just a bit of cologne, he chose to ignore it. He saw the pill container in his medicine cabinet as he was putting his cologne away. He debated about taking another one, technically he already had one with dinner _but_ he _was_ about to eat again. Just one more wouldn’t kill him. He quickly popped one his mouth, taking it with a glass of sink water.

 

Minho buzzed him exactly ten minutes later, on the dot. Chan was fastening his bracelet, quickly pressing to buzz him back, announcing he was on his way down. Luckily, he lived on the first floor so it took no time at all to meet him. Minho smiled when he saw him, his eyes sparkling. 

“Channie!” He hugged him, Chan hoped he wouldn’t notice the redness in his cheeks. “You look nice.” 

Minho still had his dance clothes on, and if Minho noticed him staring at his ass, he chose not to say anything. 

“Thanks, so do you.” Minho giggled, his eyes squinting closed. 

How could someone be so fucking cute yet so fucking hot at the same time? Chris was really going through it. 

“I’m all hot and sweaty, but thank you Channie.” Chan blushed again, Minho pinched his cheeks, cooing. Chan would be mad if it weren’t for the fact that Minho had soft hands.

“Shall we go?” Minho finally suggested, linking his arms through Chan’s and leading them outside and towards the street.

 

They walked in silence for a while, just enjoying the quiet of the night. Chan noticed the way Minho’s hair shined under the moonlight, Chan bit his lip and resisted the urge to ruffle it.

Minho spoke up after a while, “How was your day?”

 Chan looked at him, Minho was smiling gently. “It was fine, I just wrote some music.” _Thought about you and your cute self._ “Talked to Felix.” _Talked about you._ “Watched TV, the usual. How about you?”

 Minho looked up at the moon, smiling. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly stopped and pointed. “Look! We’re here!” Chan turned his head and his eyes lit up when he saw what Minho was pointing at.

 There was a little fast food place on the side of a road, one Chan had not been to since he moved to Seoul nearly seven years ago. Which was funny, considering it was a) McDonald’s and b) they had one on every block-- and in Australia. But Chan was too busy to ever eat out, and whenever he went out he would go for food with friends and they _never_ wanted fast food. So when Minho said they would be eating here, Chan felt like a child all over again.

 Minho smiled, holding the door open for Chan. The smell of greasy fries and burgers wafted through the air and Chan’s stomach growled, his disappoint of a dinner from earlier did not fill him up.

 “Choose whatever, I’ll pay.” Chan could cry, free food was the equivalent to winning the lottery when you’re a broke college kid. Chan chose a McDouble, a large fry, and a drink, not wanting to take advantage of Minho’s kindness. Minho ordered his and Chan’s food and then sat down across from Chan at a small table.

 “I hope you like McDonalds,” Minho said, laughing slightly. “I just realized we’re on a date and I take you to a damn fast food restaurant.”

 Chan was thankful their food wasn’t there yet because if he was drinking or eating, he would have choked. Instead, his face turned red, his eyes widening at Minho’s sudden proclamation.

“So this is a date?” Chan responded, his mouth twitching up into a smile. Minho opened his mouth to respond, but their food was placed on their table before he got a chance, Chan slightly annoyed, and grateful, for the young server to interrupt Minho. The two boys thanked the server, Seungmin, and began eating, the silence awkwardly hanging between them.

Chan had been on dates before, all of them being with some poor girl in his music classes, and Chan being too nice and shy to tell said girl that he was gay. Of course, he would pay and his sweaty palm would interlace with hers, but there was never a second date. Chan chewed on his food nervously, swallowing thickly as he glanced to see Minho in front of him, his eyes boring holes into him.

If Chan had zero confidence before he began taking the medication, he was guessing he had about 2% now, even as he slowly reached under the table and grabbed Minho’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together, Minho’s eyes sparkling before he giggled slightly.

“I’m guessing by the way you’re grabbing my hand underneath the table, you’re agreeing it’s a date?” Minho smirked and Chan was tempted to lean across the table and kiss that smirk away. But not now, not when Chan had french fry grease on his upper lip and Minho had ketchup on the corner of his mouth. He wanted their first kiss-- sober kiss-- to be meaningful.

Chan wiped his free hand on a napkin, before tossing it into his empty burger container. Minho closed his as well, sliding it towards Chan, the latter raising his brow.

“Throw my trash away, please?” Minho smiled, his eyes squinting and his cheekbones popping out, “It can be your repayment since I bought us dinner.”

Chan quickly let go of Minho’s hand, crossing his arms, “I thought you volunteered to pay.” Minho laughed, his entire body shaking.

“Fine, I’ll throw my own trash away, you punk.” Chan stuck his tongue out, Minho returning the childish act, before the two began laughing uncontrollably.

After their trash was thrown away, and their laughter subsided, Minho finally spoke up, “Thanks for joining me for dinner, I had fun.”

Chan smiled, “It really was no big deal, but I did too.” Minho stood up, turning to Chan

“Shall we go?”

 

The walk back was chillier, Chan silently cursing himself for not bringing a heavier coat, he shivered again as a strong gust of wind blew. Minho noticed, beginning to shrug his jacket off and handing it to Chan. Chan looked at the jacket then Minho, the younger smiling softly, Chan blushed lightly but put the jacket on, feeling warmth instantly.

It smelled like Minho, not sweaty, but a soft scent. It made Chan feel like he was home.

Minho didn’t ask for it back, even after he had dropped Chan home with a light kiss to his cheek.

 

Chan took another pill when he got home, before crawling into bed embraced with the warmth of Minho’s jacket. He fell asleep easily that night.

 

;

 

Chan woke up to his phone vibrating, his hand blindly reaching for his phone, answering it.

“Hello?” He yawned, his arm thrown over his eyes.

“ _A little birdy told me you had a date with Minho last night~_ ” Felix’s voice sang through the phone.

Chan groaned, Felix’s laugh echoing, “Is that little birdy Jisung?” 

“ _He’s friends with Seungmin,_ ” The server from last night, “ _and he said he saw you two last night._ ”

“I swear Jisung knows everyone."

Felix was silent, probably nodding, “ _S_ _o I take it the medicine is working?_ ”

Chan released a breath of air, biting his lip, “I held his hand yesterday, and he kissed my cheek and I didn’t freak out.”

Felix hummed, “ _That’s good, I guess it is working._ ” He paused, “ _do you feel confident enough to, you know…_ ” He trailed off.

 Chan stopped gnawing on his lip, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I ever will be.”

 “ _It’s no pressure Channie, if you aren’t comfortable then you don’t have to sleep with him yet._ ” Chan nodded, his lip a raw, bright red from being bitten.

“Thank you, Lix.” Chan could hear his smile through the phone.

“ _It’s no problem, now I should go. Changbin is whining for me to get back to bed so we can cuddle_.” Chan laughed.

 “I’ll let you get back to that, bye Felix.” Felix said a quick bye, hanging up and leaving Chan to his thoughts.

He sighed, his hand still across his face. Felix had made a good point, even if the medicine was making him more confident, it didn’t mean he had to sleep with Minho, at least not yet, anyway.

Chan was stressed, his head beginning to hurt from him overthinking so much. He groaned, sitting up and reaching for his phone, dialing a number before he could think twice.

“ _Hello?_ ” Minho’s voice was groggy, the younger had probably just woken up.

 “Let’s go out tonight, you and me, to a party.”

 

Chan had stupid ideas before, but this one definitely took the cake.

 

“ _Are you asking me out now?_ ” Minho laughed, his voice soft. Chan felt his heart rate pick up.

 “I guess so, I’ll pick you up at 7?”

 “ _See you then._ ”

 Chan fell back against his bed with a thud. He was going to a party tonight. With Minho. What kind of messed up reality was this?

Chan checked the time, it was around 2, meaning Chan had time to figure his shit out-- and plan a good enough outfit that made him look fuckable-- before he had to leave and pick Minho up.

 Chan quickly grabbed his phone, going to text Felix.

 

_bangchan:_ Help I need an outfit that will make me look fuckable

 

_lix:_ give me twenty

 

Chan seriously needed to buy Felix dinner or something, the kid was his savior.

 True to his words, there was a rasping on his door twenty minutes later. Felix stood there, smiling widely with a makeup bag in one hand and Changbin’s hand in the other. Chan invited them in, noticing then Felix had two more bags with him.

“I brought Binnie, he said he could help.” Chan smiled at Changbin, the younger waving back. “Plus he refused to be left alone.”

Changbin pouted, crossing his arms, “Says the one who threw a fit when I went to go pee.” Felix pouted in response.

Chan laughed, “You two are adorable.” Felix leaned over and landed a loud smacking kiss onto Changin’s cheek, the latter rolling his eyes.

“We know.” Changbin snorted, pinching Felix’s cheeks.

Felix swatted his hand away, but Chan noticed the blush on his face. “Come on, it’s time to get Chan dicked down.”

  


“Are you done?” Chan asked annoyed, Felix holding his face still as he applied eyeliner.

“Almost, stay still.” Chan groaned but complied, Felix flicking the eyeliner and leaning back with a smile.

“Perfect!” He turned Chan towards the mirror, “What do you think?”

Felix had lined Chan’s eyes with liner, a small wing on each eye, and he had on foundation. His lips were a cherry red, tasting like the fruit, and he had on small hoops for earrings. His outfit was, genuinely hot. Felix had suggested fishnets and Chan, being the panicked mess he is, was uncertain. But when he pulled his ripped jeans over Felix’s spare fishnets, he was genuinely shocked. Not just from the fact that his ass looked hot in the ripped jeans, but the fishnets made Chan _feel_ super hot as well. He topped off the look with a crop top, Felix’s doing, and a choker, Changbin’s idea. He blushed when he felt Changbin and Felix’s eyes on him, the two whistling.

“You look hot, if I weren’t dating Changbin I’d fuck you.” Changbin slapped his arm, Felix laughing.

“We don’t even fuck, you’re still a minor you dumbass.” Felix stuck his tongue out, Changbin rolling his eyes but still leaning over to land a kiss on Felix’s forehead.

“But seriously, you do look good.” Chan smiled softly, his cheeks reddening.

He turned away from the two boys, “Thanks.” He rummaged in his medicine cabinet, taking his pills out and swallowing one quickly.

“What time is it?” Changbin adjusted his hold on Felix, the younger squirming in his lap.

“Ten ‘til 7.” Chan took a deep breath, turning back to face Changbin and Felix, forcing himself to relax.

The duo looked at him, smiling slightly, “You ready?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  


It was a short walk to Minho’s apartment, Chan found out, and he ended up in front of his door-- sweating nervously-- exactly at seven. He took a deep breath, rasping softly on his door.

_Maybe he didn’t hear me, should I knock louder? But what if it was loud enough and he gets pissed that I keep knocking? Oh my God Chan! Get a hold of your-_

“Channie!” Chan immediately paused his inner monologue, looking up to a smiling Minho. He was wearing a leather jacket and tight jeans, his hair slicked back, and if Chan felt a bulge growing in his pants he chose to ignore it.

“You look, good,” Chan announced, shocked at his sudden courage. “Hot even.”

Minho smirked, “You don’t look too bad yourself, now come on,” he grabbed Chan’s hand, “we have a party to go to!”

The party was hosted by some senior named Woojin, Chan had met him last year. They were greeted at the door, the older welcoming them in with a smile, hugging Chan, and shaking Minho’s hand.

“Hey! Glad you could make it, come on in.” Woojin led them in, the smell of alcohol already filling the room. There were people on all the couches, either drunk or in the process of getting drunk, some passing around a makeshift bong. “Party technically doesn’t start for a while, but I invited some people earlier.”

The two on the couch with the bong introduced themselves as Vernon and Hyunjin, a smaller boy named Jeongin, who was sitting in Hyunjin’s lap and wasn’t drinking or smoking, claimed he was the DD for the night. Along with those three were Mark and Eric, already drunk, and an annoyed kid that was already rubbing his temples, Jacob. Jisung was in the kitchen, helping Woojin set up food and drinks. Seungmin, the server-- Chan had remembered, was helping him. Chan had introduced himself to everyone before sitting on a loveseat, Minho sitting next to him, their thighs rubbing. 

Chan blushed slightly, he needed alcohol, and soon.  


By the time it was midnight, Chan was properly shitfaced. Already having downed four shots, three bottles of shitty beer, and two of Jisung’s “party mix”-- how he had created such a complicated drink, Chan didn’t know.

 So there Chan was, standing on the makeshift dance floor, swaying to some song while he hung over Minho.

 “Minho! Did you know-” he cut off with a giggle, “I have a crush on you.”

Minho wasn’t drunk, but he was definitely buzzed, “Do you now?”

Chan nodded, smiling widely, “I have since that night we,” he leaned closer, whispering in his ear, “slept together.”

Minho nodded, grabbing Chan’s shoulder, “Let’s go somewhere more private.”

 

They ended up going to a guest room in Woojin’s house, the pulse of the music echoing through the thin walls as Minho guided him to sit on the bed. He bit his lip, his lipstick already rubbed off from the glasses. Minho sighed, looking at his hands.

 “Do you, actually like me? Or are you just drunk?”

Chan looked at him, raising an eyebrow, “I mean yeah I’m drunk, but I have feelings for you when I’m sober.”

Minho looked up, “Really?” Chan noticed the pink tinting his cheeks.

 “I want to kiss you.”

It wasn’t the most romantic kiss, Chan being drunk and Minho too flustered to bother with properly making out, but it was a kiss nonetheless. They pulled away, Chan’s lips red and swollen, Minho’s tinted with his lipgloss. 

“You taste like cherries.” Minho smirked, licking his lips.

Chan felt his dick harden, biting back a moan.

 “M-Minho.” He breathed out, the younger moving to kiss along his neck and collarbones, biting gently. “Please.”

Minho pulled back with a grin, “Please what baby?”

 Chan was going to die, he really was, “Please, I need it.”

 Minho laughed, moving to pull Chan’s shirt off, holding his breath when he saw Chan’s bare chest.

“You are going to ruin me Bang Chan.”

 Minho ran his hand up his thigh, squeezing gently before pulling his pants off, almost moaning when Chan was just in the choker and thigh highs. Minho bent down, trailing kisses down his legs, biting at the top of his thigh, Chan’s eyes rolled back.

 “Are you ready baby?” Chan took a deep breath, nodding slowly, not trusting his breath.

Minho sucked his finger before moving slowly to Chan’s ass, letting it trail around. Chan felt his heart pounding as Minho slowly pushed his finger in, his free hand squeezing against his thigh.

 Chan felt his breathing pick up, Minho’s finger swirling around, before he slid it out and quickly added another one in. Chan shuddered, feeling his whole body clench.

 Minho must have noticed because he stopped his fingers, “Channie? Are you okay?”

Chan was breathing heavily, but nodded, “I’m ‘kay, please.”

 Minho was skeptical, but continued, fucking his fingers harder and faster in Chan, the latter moaning his name like a mantra. Minho was panting, his fingers scissoring, before he slid out and quickly added a third Chan bucking his hips against Minho’s fingers.

 “You’re taking this so well baby.” Chan felt his cock harden, he was a mess under Minho’s hands. “Such a good boy.”

Chan nodded a babbling incoherent mess, his thighs being slapped and groped as Minho fucked into him with four fingers. Minho finally stopped, his fingers curling and pulling out.

 “Do you have a condom?” Chan asked when he finally managed to calm down enough.

Minho nodded, reaching into his pocket and tearing it open with his teeth. He quickly pulled his pants down and then his boxers, rolling the condom onto his dick.

“Ready baby?”

 Chan felt his breath hitch, but nodded slowly, closing his eyes. Minho gripped at his shoulders positioning himself and pulling Chan’s tights all the way down, relishing in the redness from Minho slapping his thighs. He took a deep breath and inched himself closer to Chan’s hole, slowly pushing in.

 Chan’s eyes shot open, his entire body shaking as Minho began fucking into him. Chan felt tears fall, his breathing heavy.

“Minho, ‘nho!” He gasped out, his voice frantic, “Stop! Please, please!”

 Minho quickly stopped, looking down at Chan, he noticed the tears streaming down his face. “Chan? Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

Chan shook his head, openly crying, “Please, I can’t.”

 Minho pulled out gently, grabbing for Chan but he had turned away, quickly dressing.

 “I’m sorry.” He whispered repeatedly, throwing his clothes back on and running out, leaving Minho alone.

  
He knocked on Felix’s door, his eyes red and breathing frantically. Felix opened the door, his eyes widening.

 “Chan? What happened?”

 Chan hugged him, his body shaking as he sobbed. Felix helped him in, gently leading him to the sofa and rubbing his back as he sobbed out.

Chan finally calmed down, his breathing returning to normal and his sobs turning into sniffles. Felix continued to rub his back, soothing him.

“Are you okay?”

Chan shook his head, taking a deep breath, “Minho went to fuck me and I had a panic attack.”

Felix stopped rubbing his back, turning to look at Chan. “What?”

“I thought I was ready, I was drunk and being dumb but as soon as he started I-” he cut off, voice wavering.

Felix hugged him, his eyes beginning to water, “This is my fault, I’m sorry.” He whispered.

Chan looked up, “I- What? It’s not your fault.” Felix sighed, shaking his head.

“That hormone medicine I gave you? It wasn’t real.”

Chan felt the entire world stop.

“What do you mean?”

Chan had gained confidence, he had flirted and talked to Minho without thinking. He made a move on Minho. He had kissed him, held his hand. He had done all this stuff because of the medicine, it helped him be more confident, it-

“It was fake medicine, sugar pills, I thought if I convinced you they were real you would be more confident around Minho.”

Chan looked at his hands, feeling his heart pounding, “You mean, I didn’t gain confidence from hormone medicine? I did it on my own?”

Felix nodded slowly, “All on your own.”

Chan let out a breath of air before laughing, his entire body shaking. He had really gained all that confidence by himself, he didn’t even need the help.

“I don’t believe it. I’m so fucking stupid!” Chan laughed again, Felix staring at him.

“I’m confused, are you not mad at me?”

Chan grabbed his face, kissing his cheek, “No! I mean, kinda, but like, I gained confidence by myself! I was stressed because I thought the medication was making me horny but I wasn’t but this is, this is good. I’m confident on my own.”

“I knew you could.” Felix smiled brightly, Chan smiled back just as hard and hugged him.

“I have to go, thank you.”

Felix raised an eyebrow as Chan stood up, “Where are you going?”

“I have to talk to Minho.”  


With his luck, Minho was still at the party, slumped on a spare couch and nursing a beer. When he saw Chan he jumped up, nearly running over.

He took a deep breath, grabbing for Chan’s hands, the two suddenly speaking at the same time.

“Chan I-”

Minho look-”

They both laughed softly, Minho scratching the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have tried to have sex with you if you weren’t ready-”

Chan cut him off, “It’s okay, I may not be ready yet, but maybe one day I will be. For now, I just want to be with you.”

Minho smiled, hugging Chan, “I love you.” It was a whisper, almost silent in the loud room, but Chan heard it vibrate.

Chan didn’t blush, feeling his heart swell in his chest as he replied with, “I love you too.”

Their foreheads touched, breathing in sync as Chan moved forward to kiss Minho.

Minho loved the taste of Chan’s cherry lip gloss.  


_-2 weeks later-_

 

“I regret getting you guys together.” Felix huffed, rolling his eyes at Chan who was sitting on Minho’s lap and eating fries that he was feeding him.

Minho laughed, kissing Chan’s cheek, “Like you and Changbin don’t do gross shit like this.”

Felix made a yelling sound, slapping Changbin, “We don’t, do we?”

Changbin shrugged, continuing to eat his burger unbothered.

Felix crossed his arms, “Still! Chan gets a little confident and all of a sudden he’s on top of you in public.”

Chan and Minho exchanged a look, smiling, before continuing to feed each other dinner and ignoring Felix’s whines.

Maybe they were too clingy, but that was just the way they liked it.

 


	2. question time

would you like to see one-shots in this same universe? like first dates as a couple and cute fluff with chanmin  
or maybe changlix one-shots?

just let me know! i want to write more with this au but i dont wanna make a multi-chaptered fic so i may do one-shots if y'all want them <33


	3. not an update!!

just saw i reached 1000 hits on this fic!!!! holy cow!!! <33333 thank you for all the support you've given this series, it means a lot to lil ole me. :-)

if you have any requests for this universe, feel free to leave them below!!! i'd love to do some one-shots perhaps. 

 

thanks for reading.

\- jikwaniser

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [twt ](http://twitter.com/babykwans)   
>  [ tumblr ](http://bunnyiser.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello hellooooo
> 
> hope y'all enjoyed this fic it's my longest fic and took me weeks to write but i'm really proud of it :-)  
> thank you to zoe for helping me out and proofreading i love u
> 
> after listening to placebo i wanted to write a fic abt it bc honestly the song is so good  
> listen to this while you read for full effect ;-) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoaCoW4Elpg
> 
> leave ur comments below and let me know what you thought<33
> 
> also! i moved twt follow me @ babykwans


End file.
